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  • Writer's pictureEmma Norton

Is Fearmongering the Way to Keep a Friendship?

Fearmongering is a manipulative tactic to control others through the insecurities they hold within their mind. Life is a state of uncertainty, so when you have a taste of that universal truth, you are more susceptible to this tactic.

People often lead with what ails them. If you have been hurt by a situation, you are bound to accept it as a pattern and a part of the story you tell yourself. You see aspects of this transpiring for someone you know, so as a pearl of masked 'wisdom,' you tell them what you think about their situation and impose that fear you feel upon them. This could even be done subconsciously through your either interest or repellency to the situation. 

The more people grow in their fears through different coping mechanisms and accept that as their normalcy, the more we see fearmongering trickling down into everyday life. Gossip, spinning the stories, imposed opinions, and judgment is all ways to keep claws into another and keep yourself imprisoned in this fear. Negligence or failure to recognize and take responsibility for your actions is also a way to not assert your dominant freedom, but rather exhibiting insolence. 

We project our fear through neediness and attachment. I have been on both sides. When I was in fear, it was the deeply rooted pains that bubbled up that caused my anxiety and not trusting my intuition. So I entered the state of being susceptible to the fearmongering. I tended to ignore it as best I could through familial bonds, though they certainly shaped my subconscious reactions to situations. But when my insecurities were highlighted, I fell into that weakened energy. Likewise, the responsibility I felt as an empath to be there for others from childhood led me to reflect upon the fearmongering that happened to me then because I lacked the comprehension as a child. We all do, but it's the stories that stick with us as adults that put us on both sides of this manipulation. 

Many friendships can hold this frequency unless addressed. I can attest more to the feminine dynamics as I'm in this ladylike meat suit, but with my masculine counterparts, I can see the similar bonds created in friendships because of this inability to accept ourselves. We either project or take on that projection from others when we are in a vulnerable state. 

It's the worry of getting lost in that methodology of controlling behavior. You can see this in professional experiences, the management styles of people. From my event history, the pressure of budgets or appeasing several people of a certain 'status' was always the pressure, when really it was the perception of one person of another that altered the entire working schematic. The same goes for personal experiences. Like a chain reaction, your fear is implicated onto the next person, and the whole storyline changes for them. 

If your intuition gets lost in the shuffle and you fall prey to the opinions of others, you are more likely to take action from your ego than your heart. Sometimes people will tell you their version of the story to suit their needs. Often their intention (to them) is good, but egoic opinion is different than sound, unbiased advice, and aggressing someone's known insecurities without coming to them with a solution is that fearmongering you can get stuck in. 

Witnessing myself in both roles, I understand that ripple effect. We all learn the fearmongering tactic from somewhere or use it as a protective shield from the threat of the unknown. I have awkwardly tried manipulation as a result of learning it from others but then I realized it was because I was experiencing it. I hit a point where I would listen to people and the bullshit was evident, seeing through the attempt at latching onto my energy. This came from an honest reflection of my entire being and the world around me, where I felt stuck or unsafe, both superior and inferior. 

If you face your fears then there is no control to be taken from you from others or experiences. When you begin to do this, it's like an addiction. I don't mean jumping out of a plane for an adrenaline rush, I mean looking at the things you hide about yourself or the ridiculous stories you believe about your worth. 

Fearmongering is that desire for others to feel the same as you, right? So if I can scare you into feeling good about yourself through open and honest conversations where we all healthily learn from one another, I'll do it.

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