Baby steps toward your growth are integral to moving forward. Avoidance simply will not do.
After experiences that made you feel less than stellar, you may hold onto attachments to people, places, or things. Negative memories associated with emotions are of course called traumas and the other buzzword we use to call these are triggers. You cannot just sweep feelings under the rug for your entire lifetime. Triggers come up to face and release. We cannot allow ourselves to be continually impacted by these traumas, as they limit our present and future opportunities, and the stressors are not only stored in our mental and emotional bodies but also the physical.
Give yourself permission to feel what lives below the triggers.
When I began to tap into the connectedness of everything that caused me anxiety and depression for quite some time before the levees broke, I was living in this fearful existence. I always knew there was more, I always dreamed big and I knew what was meant for me. But shit just got in the way. Every time. Can you believe that? The audacity that we are not entitled to having a clear path to what we truly desire.
When certain experiences transpired and my worst fears were realized, that is when I realized the power of my mental abilities and made the commitment to healing the old so I wouldn't be in a perpetual state of misery. Now, here we are. I feel as though people are often stuck in this monotonous state of suffering and I want to share some actions I have taken over time to reclaim my self-sovereignty.
As an example, there was a place I used to frequent that held a lot of key memories over the years. Lifechanging moments. As the erosion of my false self began to occur, after my ego took a dominant stronghold over me as it was 'protecting' my heart, it ultimately to show me to believe in myself and love. Negative experiences unfolded at this place, however, that seemed to replace the positive memories I was holding onto. It felt like a violation where my cherished memories were steamrolled over by these other ones. I couldn't bear the thought of ever going to this place again. A literal structure. So how did I come into balance and release the attachment to a physical entity?
I became determined to face every person, place, or thing that made me feel gross inside. So I made plans with a new amazing friend, who literally seemed to drop from the heavens above and we went there, creating new a new memory. As soon as I faced it and could settle into this newfound joy that felt far more aligned with me and taking a hard look at the self-induced foolishness of attachment, I felt better. But it is in these moments you realize there are more layers to those feelings that were built up years prior, leading you to the culmination of grossness in the first place.
This reclamation of power is the start of something much bigger. It becomes addicting, facing these things, and being determined to not only heal yourself but to create a more positive storyline moving forward. The balance being taking the lesson from the negative experience, staying compassionate, and understanding that your happiness comes from this neutral understanding.
I believe that sometimes traumatic events happen to shake us out of our ruts and get us closer to our true selves. Get us out of our heads and into our hearts.
Your ego loves to destroy you with fabrications as these events happen throughout your life, but when you figure that out and start to reprogram it, you feel better and you can start doing what you previously thought unimaginable. For myself, like visiting that place, I now am writing more openly about experiences (with a little mystery to keep it sexy of course) and speaking about them with trusted people. I am finding this whole new level of openness that is creating all these amazing dialogues with people.
Be aware of that and decipher your confidence and self-worth from the superiority complex, is yet another level to master in the ego game. For me, when I have hit this place and then also look at things with humility, it's a good indicator of growth.
The truth is we all get butthurt by the actions of others, whether they hold an awareness of it or not. We all go through shocking changes in our lives that threaten our entire comprehension of existence. But if we do not confront the triggers, that is exactly what they will always be. We owe it to ourselves and others to stop perpetuating painful cycles.