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  • Writer's pictureEmma Norton

Love is Something that We Learn

In a theoretical context, love is shown to us through the habits formed by those before us. Whether there was always a condition associated with affection or we were given more than we could ever dream of. We begin to view 'love' as this form of exchange between humanity. 

We learn and adapt to our love language based on our impressions in early childhood and how the often dreaded adolescent experience starts to shape our minds. We begin to put up our walls, wear our masks, and create these illusionary concepts around love. Whether throwing ourselves into one person after another because we fear loneliness and seek outside of ourselves or we shut ourselves off entirely to not encounter pain once more. It is the ego that cues itself up as the protector, storing these memories within us that shape our view on what love is.

Attachment in any form contributes to the illusion of love, actually the ego seeking fulfillment, which in my opinion is codependency and distribution of mistrust. We all have our patterns that were created from a young age that contribute to this and the lessons we learn either keep us in those destructive cycles or help us break them. It is the awareness and desire to do so that led me to a greater understanding of love being a frequency.

If I learn to love myself and release all the conditions placed upon me throughout my life by myself or others, I can get to that state and make love my basal frequency. It comes from me and emanates outward, it is not sourced by the things I do or the people I am connected with. It never was. Through my natural free-spirited meeting a nurturing nature, I have been able to comprehend love in this manner, along with the experiences I have endured thus far.

I look back at the experiences where others tried to restrict me because I chose love over fear. I now can see how the ego perpetuates things, within my actions and that of others. I guess that is one of my superpowers and helps with my connectivity to people, regardless of the situation, history, or negativity that has unfolded. Being considered crazy because I believed and I tried has been the upholding of integrity that is the ground I can stand firmly upon.

I started using #loveadvocate as a part of my social media posts because I think in the exploration of love, we can relearn or recover these forgotten aspects of ourselves and uncover the meaning of things. My identification of my ego acting out has allowed me to integrate further toward that love frequency that is 100% real. Scientifically proven along with my hippie presentation of it. It builds up throughout our lifetime perpetuating these falsified notions that create patterns and blockages through conditioning.

Love is an energy, a vibration, a state. It is not something you give or take or use as leverage or some manipulative tactic. It is not based in trauma bonds or settling into whatever you perceive as mediocrity for a sense of security. Our egos suss out people who can fill our voids and we mistake that for love. In all of these ways it is, because everything is love, duh. BUT, these experiences are meant to shine the light on the places in you where you need to (re)learn what true love is within yourself. Also, duh.

Reflecting, think back to how you were raised, what you saw from your parental figures, how they conditioned you, and what has unfolded in your adulthood as a result. What feels authentic in your actions and what is that fear-driven energy you are passing off as 'love?' The most powerful, yet overused and mistaken word, love deserves a purification. 

There comes a point, if you can comprehend it, that love is your birthright and before all the conditioning imposed upon you thinking you have to act or be a certain way. You just are love. It's so simple, yet this basal concept, a foundation for life gets lost in these games we all play with one another. Duh. 

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